


Setting Fire to our insides for fun

by merlinfrostE



Series: Forgive my wayward soul [2]
Category: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Daemons, Episode 1 season 1, Gen, Kilgharrah mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 16:10:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11947851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlinfrostE/pseuds/merlinfrostE
Summary: Morgana and Similien have always walked through the Castle like they own it, demanding respect and attention wherever they go. For the most part, it just aggravated Arthur to the point of rolling his eyes and sighing in exasperation.Merlin hated them for it.





	Setting Fire to our insides for fun

Morgana and Similien have always walked through the Castle like they own it, demanding respect and attention wherever they go. For the most part, it just aggravated Arthur to the point of rolling his eyes and sighing in exasperation.  
Merlin hated them for it.

When they’d been children Similien had liked to take the forms of wolves, lions, snakes, and spiders. He’d always said that none of them were even close to what he’d eventually settle as but they served a purpose for him that only he and Morgana seemed to understand. When Morgana turned thirteen and he settled Uther and Adara couldn’t be prouder.   
“I guess I’ll always be one step ahead of you Arthur.” The black haired beauty teased as she walked past the Prince who’s baby blue eyes turned to cold thunderstorms at her words. Merlin, who had been a light brown hair sitting on his other half’s shoulder merely flicked his ears at Similien who had fanned out his impressive new tail feathers that shine emerald green and soft sky blue. 

“At least Merlin can still change into useful shapes. What good is a bird that can’t even fly properly?” Arthur snapped back. His words had Morgana flushing scarlet while Similien gave a loud indignant cry as his feathers ruffled. Merlin’s nose twitched slightly before he reached down with a paw and gently batted at Arthur’s ear. The signal was clear to the Prince so he backed off and left the seething girl in peace, retreating to the back of the hall where Merlin changed into a numbat only instead of being brown with black stripes he was black with white stripes.

“While I am flattered at how highly you think of my continued ability to shift best not say such things to her again.” Merlin cautioned.

“Then she can keep her mouth shut about you,” Arthur grumbled. Merlin smiled but remained silent. As the years went by Morgana and Arthur slowly began to move past their differences to the point where they could even call each other friends. Merlin, however, refused to even acknowledge Similien, always turning his back to the other daemon not that it was unusual behavior for him. Merlin never spoke to anyone but Arthur, always ignoring other daemons when they tried to talk to him. He also continued to change shape much to Uther and Adara's dislike. When they turned fifteen and Merlin still changed the king and his daemon finally had enough.

“Pick a form and stay in that form when in public! I won’t have a son of mine looking like a freak and disgracing the family name.” Uther shouted while Adara glared from his shoulder. Merlin spat hatefully up at them from the body of a black cat that grew in size till he was a black panther with burning golden eyes. The king had stared for a moment at the angry cat who’s fur was standing on end, pupils nothing but thin slits making him look very threatening before he nodded. “That one will do. From now on when out in public Merlin will be a panther.”

“And if I refuse to be one?” Merlin had boldly asked. It had Uther and Adara pausing for a moment as it had been years since they’d heard the other daemons voice. The shock wore off quickly, however, replaced by anger and malice. 

“We are not above putting you in the dungeons or locking you inside the castle.” Adara clicked her beak loudly. Merlin scowled, tail lashing violently behind him. Part of him wanted to change just to spit Uther and Adara, but the thought of Arthur never being able to go hunting in the woods or train with the Knights kept him in place. In a rare show of respect, the daemon bowed his head before turning to walk towards the doors, not caring of the distance growing between himself and Arthur that he knew would unnerve Uther and Adara.

That was how Merlin and Arthur found themselves playing the biggest game of pretend ever. When out hunting, training, attending council meetings or executions Merlin walked along at the Prince’s side as a large and imposing black panther with a terrifying golden gaze. In the privacy of their room, however, he would flick between forms so fast that at times Arthur struggled to keep up. 

“I hate this.” Merlin all but cried as he clung to the bed post as a ring tailed lemur.

“Merlin, please. Father wants us at the execution. You need to change.” Arthur begged of his strange other half. The nineteen-year-old was dressed in his finest clothes for the event but his daemon was having none of it.

“I hate attending those executions and so do you!” Merlin sneered, changing into a Green-headed tree agama lizard as he scurried down onto the red bedsheets. “All we do is stand there and watch as those with magic are unjustly killed by the man we are forced to call father.”

“That’s enough Merlin!” Arthur suddenly exploded, his face flushed red. Merlin cowered away, body contorting into that of a sand cat. His small cream coloured ears fell flat against his head while he turned his golden eyes to the floor. Arthur stood firm though, no matter how much it hurt to cause his daemon such distress. “He is our Father and our king, we will do as he says.”

Soft cream coloured fur stood on end, small fangs appearing under a tightly pulled back lip before the fur bled into black and the small body grew in size. “I still hate this.”

Some of the anger faded from the blonds face at that, a deep understanding flowing between them. Having to walk around day after day pretending to be something they weren’t was hard on both of them, but especially Merlin. Arthur knew that to combat the stress his daemon had been leaving late at night to explore the outside world. Once, about a month ago Merlin hadn’t come back for two days forcing Arthur to play sick. He still refused to tell Arthur where he’d gone. “Come on then, let’s get it over with so it’ll be done.”

The panther huffed, tail swaying gently behind him as they left their room and headed for the balcony that overlooked the courtyard. Uther was already there, Adara perched like she always was on his shoulder glaring down at everyone. Uther sent them a side glance before nodding while Adara sent a sneer towards Merlin. Golden pools rolled at her attempt to frighten their owner before settling on the crowd below. A man dressed in rags was being led towards the chopping block, the executioner and his brown bat daemon already waiting with an axe. The man himself looked plain and forgetful until you looked at his daemon. Merlin felt his breath catch when he saw her. She was a stunning white bellied sea eagle with inky black eyes that gazed out at the sneering crowd with indifference. Merlin noted with sadness that her massive wings were clipped to prevent her from flying.

“Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And, pursuant to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king, but for the crime of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass.” Uther called before raising his hand. The man, Thomas was forced to his knees while his daemon fluttered down to the ground next to him with a loud ear-splitting cry. The executioner raised his axe and Uther lowered his hand with a nod.

For a brief moment, Merlin locked eyes with the man’s daemon. She gazed up at him hatefully before it melted away as she seemed to see something hidden deep within his golden stare. Her face softened, beak twisting in that odd way bird daemons did when they smiled just as the axe came down ending her other half’s life and causing her to explode in a shower of golden Dust. 

“When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos, but with the people's help magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate twenty years since the Great Dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin.” Uther declared happily while Adara preened. Merlin wrinkled his nose, watching from the corner of his eyes as Arthur turned his head away from his father. Merlin too would have turned away had it not been for the loud pained wailing that started up from the courtyard. The panther reared up on his back legs, front paws resting on the railing so he could better peer down at the people.

A woman who seemed even more bedraggled than the man was standing there, her grey white hair flying all over the place adding to her crazed look. Upon her shoulder sat a mangy old tom cat who was spitting at all who gazed on them. 

“There is only one evil in this land, and it is not magic! It is you! With your hatred and your ignorance! You took my son! And I promise you, before these celebrations are over, you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son.” The woman hissed, glaring up at Uther before her eyes turned to stare at Arthur who sat frozen under her gaze. Merlin gave a loud bone-chilling roar, long fangs bared for all to see as he fought the urge to change into something larger that could fly down and kill the woman for daring to threaten his Prince. Adara gave a cry as well, though Merlin suspected that she was furious at the woman and himself. Choosing to ignore her in favor of the woman, Merlin watched as the guards closed in on her only to blink when she began to chant in a harsh hissing tone before vanishing into thin air. Golden eyes glared, fur standing on end while the unsettledness that was his very begin tingled with the urge to change.

“Merlin.” Fingers threaded themselves into thick glossy fur at the Panthers ruff. Arthur was standing tall beside his daemon, showing to all that he was unafraid of the threat against his life. Merlin knew otherwise.

“Gaius and Gelasia will be expecting us for our science lessons.” The daemon rumbled, deliberately avoiding the hard cold gaze of the King and Falcon. Moving quickly and very aware of the continued contact Arthur was keeping Merlin led his other half away from the balcony and towards the dwelling of their mentor. The whole way there Merlin and Arthur could feel how their skin crawled with the need to change. Perhaps that’s why they didn’t knock and instead barged in loudly. It startled the elderly man up on the balcony of his bookshelf to the point where he tumbled backwards through the banister. Arthur shouted in panic that faded when Gaius seemed to slow down as he fell. Baby blue eyes looked down into burning golden eyes that were now glowing with power. Realising what was happening Arthur was quick to locate the bed and push it under the man allowing Merlin to release his hold on him.

It was silent for a moment as Gaius seemed to get his bearings, Gelasia wound around his neck hissing in distress. When their eyes landed on Arthur and Merlin they seemed to explode. “If anyone had seen that!”

“But they didn’t.” Arthur pointed out which had Merlin giving a hacking cough.

“What are you doing here?” Gaius snapped instead, obviously still a little shaken. Gelasia hissed from her place but Merlin refused to acknowledge her.

“Our science lessons.” Arthur shrugged causing the famous eyebrow of doom to be aimed their way. Arthur hunched his shoulders while Merlin growled slightly, lips pulling back to show just a hint of gleaming white fangs. “There was an execution today.”

“Ah, well then lock the door and do as you will.” The old man sighed. The door slammed shut and locked on its own and suddenly Merlin was flicking between a snow leopard, grey wolf, raven, marble fox and a black snake. It went on for a few minutes before he settled on the snow leopard. It had Gelasia hissing nervously but still, he refused to look at her. Arthur looked him over, eyes contemplative before shrugging though both of them could feel the soft pang of longing the form caused.

“I see his magic is still growing stronger.” Gaius mused softly. He glanced at Merlin for only a moment before averting his gaze, after all, it was impolite to stare at someone else’s daemon.

“So what if it does. Why should it matter?” Arthur countered defensively. The Prince resisted the urge to reach out and dig his fingers into the soft white fur of his daemon’s ruff knowing that in doing so he would be showing Gaius just how uncomfortable he was.

“If you are caught it will matter.” The elderly man warned.

“Well, we don’t make a habit of doing magic out in public.” Merlin huff at that, tail coming up to curl around Arthur’s leg.

“Have you been doing those exercises we told you about?” Gelasia asked from her place around Gaius’ neck. Merlin flicked his tail, sent her a side glance but didn’t open his mouth. Arthur grimaced a little, leaning down to gently trace a finger over a soft velvet like ear.

“Merlin’s been practicing control if that’s what you mean.” The Prince muttered. Both watched as Gelasia recoiled slightly at being addressed by another human other than Gaius while the man himself tensed just slightly. The movements seemed to amuse Merlin for he chuffed in delight, head tilted to one side. 

“Well…I suppose you don’t have need for your ‘Science’ lesson today then.” He turned back to his work bench where different coloured liquids were bubbling away.

“Thank you.” Arthur wasn’t sure why he was thanking his mentor, perhaps he was just trying to fill the awkward silence that had fallen between them. Merlin had already changed into his panther form, walking out the door only to pause when Gelasia called out to him.

“Merlin, we should say thank you to you as well.” She said. The panther still didn’t speak though the tip of his tail twitched ever so slightly. Both Python and her human counterpart knew that it was the best they would get from the anti-social daemon and let it be which Arthur was thankful for, rushing to catch up with his other half. 

“I still don’t know why you make me do that.” He muttered making golden pools flick up to gaze at him.

“Make you do what?” Merlin asked.

“Talk to other daemons.” Arthur pointed out. “When you don’t respond it’s up to me to give a response even though it's not proper.”

A scoff was his reply to that. “I don’t make you do anything. You’re the one who decides to speak up. Besides, it’s fun to watch their reactions when you do speak back.” Arthur wrinkled his nose at this not sure how he felt about his daemon’s strange sense of humor. 

The day went by in a blur of training, lessons, council meetings and of Merlin willing himself not to change his form. By the time of greeting Lady Helen, both were physically and mentally drained. The king, however, demanded their presence along with Morgana’s which she did not look happy about. When Lady Helen came into the courtyard with her Tundra Swan Merlin was instantly on alert with fur standing on end. Arthur twitched slightly as feelings of mistrust, unease and slight fear flooded his system making him turn curious eyes towards the Panther.

“He’s fake.” Merlin hissed, golden eyes locked onto the swan daemon who walked awkwardly beside his human. 

“What do you mean?” Arthur questioned.

“He’s just wrong…I can’t explain it. All I know is that he’s fake and I don’t want to be anywhere near him.” Merlin growled, lips pulling back to reveal long fangs when the swan turned to look at him. Adara gave a soft reproachful sound while Uther scowled angrily, turning apologetic eyes on the Lady Helen.

“Forgive my son’s daemon. He has never been a respectful one.” Uther glared down at Arthur who cowered under his gaze while Merlin just narrowed his eyes, tail lashing. They are sent to their chambers without dinner for their disrespect, being treated like misbehaving children. It has Arthur in a tiff while Merlin just perches on the windowsill as a golden masked owl, his gaze locked on the horizon.

“You shouldn’t have been so obvious in front of them you know.” Arthur snapped. Merlin just sighed, unsure on how to explain what he’d felt. In the end, he decides to drop the matter and allow Arthur a win. Still, Perhaps if he’d tried to get his point across they wouldn’t be stuck in the situation they were in now. 

Inside the great hall Merlin stands by Arthur’s side obediently while still taking care to avoid any and all forms of contact between other daemons. It has the Prince grimacing a few times when people and daemon alike send him offended looks but he doesn’t call Merlin out on his behavior.

When Morgana walks into the room in a red dress flanked by Similien fanning his tail, a knowing smile on her face as she takes in the longing and enchanted looks on people’s faces, Merlin turns his back. Arthur is openly staring at the beautiful sight that is Morgana when he suddenly takes note of Merlin’s stiff posture and lashing tail.

“What is it now Merlin?” Those piercing golden eyes flash up to meet with baby blue with an intensity that almost has Arthur taking a step back.

“They aren’t worth our time.” 

Arthur could feel his annoyance growing at his daemons behavior. “What do you have against them anyway?”

The Panther scowled, the tip of his tail twitching ever so slightly behind him. “You're not the only one who has been talking with Kilgharrah.”

“Who?” Merlin smiled at that, refusing to say any more on the matter much to Arthur’s annoyance as they take their seats for Lady Helen’s performance. 

Lady Helen was singing in front of the court, her swan daemon giving soft honks. It’s all going normally at first until Merlin takes note of the people and daemons falling asleep with cobwebs starting to take over the hall. The Panther hissed, golden eyes lighting up with magic to prevent himself from succumbing to whatever spell Lady Helen was weaving. When those burning golden eyes see the woman heading straight for Arthur, dagger held at the ready Merlin feels his control on his magic snap. It explodes out of his body, lashing out violently causing the chandelier hanging above Lady Helen to snap and fall down onto her. Merlin sat down slowly, head tilted to the side in a contemplative manner while those around him slowly began to pull themselves back into the waking world. Merlin watched in fascination as the trumpet swan of Lady Helen rippled and shifted till the mangey looking tomcat of the elderly woman appeared before his eyes.

When the dagger was thrown Merlin reacted without thinking, leaping into Arthur’s side and shoving him out of the way of the dagger that would have impaled itself into his heart killing them both. Strong arms flew up to wrap themselves around Merlin’s neck, Panther tensing up in shock when Arthur pressed his face into the soft fur of his neck.

“Who’s the girl now?” Merlin couldn’t help but whisper so no one else would hear his voice. He felt Arthur huff a laugh against his neck, fingers gently digging into the tense joints in his back teasingly. 

“At least you're not entirely useless.” The Prince shot right back with a weak smile.

When golden eyes glance up at the King who is standing there in stunned silence, Adara gives a single nod of approval from his shoulder. It has Merlin growling low in his throat but he nods back none the less.

That night Merlin sores over Camelot as a Raven, body longing to become a dragon but not wishing to draw attention to himself. Golden eyes look to the forest where no one dares go, look to the freedom that comes with the emptiness causing wings to beat frantically towards their destination until the body can contort into a massive black dragon with red frills and wing membranes. The form sits nearly perfectly on Merlin, it wraps around his soul in a way barely any other form has but still he does not settle. The twisting mass of Dust that makes up every adolescent daemon that has stuck with him into adulthood stays in place, still filled to the brim with endless possibilities to chose from. In the end Merlin cannot decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing.


End file.
